January 28, 2013 3pm Revision Poem What would you do? Society Question with Humor Pg.1047-1048 Ch.13

What would you do? Society Question with Humor

You are one of *two* people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute. How would you react...?

Pessimist: you refuse the parachute because you might die on the jump anyway.

Optimist: you refuse the parachute because people have survived crashes just like this before.

Procrastinator: you play a game of Monopoly for the parachute.

Bureaucrat: you order them to conduct a feasibility study on parachute use in multi-engine aircraft under code red conditions.

Lawyer: you charge one parachute for helping them sue the airline.

Doctor: you tell them you need to run more tests, then take the parachute in order to make your next appointment.

Sales executive: you sell them the parachute at top retail rates and get the names of their friends and relatives who might like one too.

Internal Revenue Service: you confiscate the parachute along with their luggage, wallet, and gold fillings.

Advertiser: you strip-tease while singing that what they need is a neon parachute with computer altimeter for only $39.99.

Engineer: you make them another parachute out of aisle curtains and dental floss.

Scientist: you give them the parachute and ask them to send you a report on how well it worked.

Mathematician: you refuse to accept the parachute without proof that it will work in all cases.

Philosopher: you ask how they know the parachute actually exists.

English major: you explicate simile and metaphor in the parachute instructions.

Comparative Literature: you read the parachute instructions in all four languages.

Computer Science: you design a machine capable of operating a parachute as well as a human being could.

Economics: you plot a demand curve by asking them, at regular intervals, how much they would pay for a parachute.

Psychoanalysis: you ask them what the shape of a parachute reminds them of.

Drama: you tie them down so they can watch you develop the character of a person stuck on a falling plane without a parachute.

Art: you hang the parachute on the wall and sign it.

Republican: as you jump out with the parachute, you tell them to work hard and not expect handouts.

Democrat: you ask them for a dollar to buy scissors so you can cut the parachute into two equal pieces.

Libertarian: after reminding them of their constitutional right to have a parachute, you take it and jump out.

National Rifle Association: you shoot them and take the parachute.

Police Bigot: you beat them unconscious with the parachute. Environmentalist: you refuse to use the parachute unless it is biodegradable.

Objectivist: your only rational and moral choice is to take the parachute, as the free market will take care of the other person.

Branch Davidian (David Koresh): you get inside the parachute and refuse to come out.

Sports Fan: you start betting on how long it will take to crash.

Auto Mechanic: as long as you are looking at the plane engine, it works fine. Ross Perot: you tell them not to worry, since it won’t take you long to learn how to fix a plane.

Surgeon General: you issue a warning that skydiving can be hazardous to your health.

Association of Tobacco Growers: you explain very patiently that despite a number of remarkable coincidences, studies have shown no link whatsoever between airplane crashes and death.

A Advanced Metaphysical Physicist of the Future: Pushes a Button and we all end Up on ground safe. Only for emergencies for we are still improving and it is real expense to use.

Author’s Comments

Clean Jokes with humor are some of the best ways to teach. A combined force of Society’s Optimism is unstoppable.

~ Society Optimism Impetus Force Aphorism

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By his divine nature, Christ is simple. By his human nature, he is complex. So many people in the world how do we just get alone with everybody. If you are humble and got humility it is easy and simple with a civilized society.

–Thomas Aquinas Revised &

Hold faithfulness and sincerity as first principles. –Confucius

-AND- This a Lesson for The Ages Tactful Humor 21 Century Education True History Fact Comedy: How did the uneducated recluse hillbillies many many many years ago find their sisters in the woods? Pretty Hot Necked -AND- Quality Point Enlightenment Point Value Point Wisdom Point Romance Point Magic Point Enchanting Inspiration Point Character Love Encouragement Civilization Point: Our character is our fate. --Heraclitus -AND- Physicist Discovers How to Teleport Energy Science Clarification History Society Points: Since energy and mass can be converted back and forth (E=MC), it’s only a matter of time before teleportation is real. 2010! All this is possible because there are always quantum fluctuations in the energy of any particle. The teleportation process allows you to inject quantum energy at one point in the universe and then exploit quantum energy fluctuations to extract it from another point. Of course, the energy of the system as whole is unchanged.

-AND-

Hey Girl Hey, I can tweak it. You due for some change, genius.

~ Mango Melon Papaya Fruitful Desire & Garden Patch Cherry Pie Line

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Can't put your arms around a memory heaven of a imagination leave them speechless... ~ Love Sparks Shine Line When You are Heavenly Speak of More than my Mine WhooAq Aqua

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Listen to music selection by Ini Kamoze “Here Comes the Hot Stepper”